Tuesday, July 26

Insomnia and Dreams

I blame the newly installed electricity for this sudden bout of insomnia, well the electric field and stress and worry.... and weird dreams. Not that I think Executor is mucking about in my head. I'm pretty sure I'd know if he'd managed to creep into my head for a little mind-fuckery. Forgive my "French," but that's what he does.

Lately my dreams just make me... uncomfortable. They're not even bad dreams, just weird, well unpleasant too, but mostly weird. I don't know what they mean.......... I hate not being able to figure things out. Usually I'm just prepared to be entertained by my dreams, but these just have such an ominous feeling to them...

I dreamed I went to live and work in a mortuary. It was haunted, but no one told me. Apparently the man who had worked there before me had been driven to hang himself and haunted the room I was given to sleep in. The first night he threw a feather pillow at my head, and when I politely told him I was allergic to feathers, he tried to smother me. I tried to sleep in other rooms, but he followed me around, dripping embalming fluid. From the stains on the wood tables and floors, this was something he did often.

I mean, how do you interpret something like that?

And even stranger, I've been dreaming of spitting things up... a lot.  The weirdest one so far...

I was spitting up pieces of bone. They were smooth, curved pieces nearly too large for my mouth with weird symbols in bas-relief on each piece. I could feel pressure in my throat as they came up and then in my mouth as the edges pressed against the skin of my cheeks and lips. Even though the pieces were large, they didn't hurt or cause any damage to my throat or mouth.

I went and showed my dream parents, spitting more up as I went. Instead of being concerned, they were delighted. "Something" was going to happened soon. They collected all the bones which, put together properly, morphed into a woman made of bone. Finally I spit out a spiny bit of bone resembling brain coral. This was her heart; it was in constant motion and somehow linked to the earth's magnetic field? At this point, I became the bone-woman...and people were trying to kill me, while others wanted to protect me? There were also some wealthy people in the dream who were mutating and eating other folks....

Gods! I don't even know!

I feel like I'm going stir crazy. Sunshine's perfectly happy to go with me into the woods and hunt for fruit and mushrooms, even if half the time I'm not sure if he's eating the berries he picks, or bugs. But I still jump at every little twig snap when I'm out there. And when I'm at the mansion, I can only sleep so long before this sense of foreboding wakes me up from these freaky dreams.  Then I lie in the dark, too worried about accidentally waking the kids to get up and do anything.


  1. Stir crazy. That I can relate to. Hope you figure something out soon.

  2. It's the waiting that's the worst... knowing something will happen, but not when or what or how. If I knew even one of those things, I could prepare and be done, but continually preparing for an event that could happen tomorrow or next month is maddening. And I have enough neurosis.

  3. Ah yes, stir craziness. It really f***ing sucks. Like Elaine said, I hope you figure something out. Stay safe.

  4. You think these strange as hell dreams might somehow be connected to the weird messages in the woods the other day?

    For the record. These are the weirdest dreams I have ever heard of in my entire life.

  5. Thanks Skan. It helps that I have things to do, people to take care of. I think if I was alone, it would be unbearable. At least having other people around helps me focus on something other than my own anxieties.

  6. Honestly, I've had much stranger dreams in my time, Hawk. It's more the feeling of impending doom that's getting to me. I don't know if the dreams even mean anything specific, but the feeling that accompanies them is what wakes me up and keeps me from going back to sleep. It's... oppressive.

  7. Hello there little one.

    Would you like to play a game?

  8. I have more than enough people playing games with me right now, thank you.