Wednesday, August 17

Morbid little ray of sunshine

There's not really much to say about Shady's return. I've been putting it off because it still feels unreal... like this is a dream, and she'll disappear again when I'm not looking. I suppose I've felt that if I didn't blog about it, nothing would happen to pull the rug out from under our feet.

She's still here and I'm still terrified something is going to happen, but if there's one constant in the lives of people like us, it's that something is always going to happen, if not today, then tomorrow. I just have to wrap my mind around my family being whole right now. Forget about tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day.

You've no doubt read about Shady's kidnapping. Her reappearance was just the same. One instant the place she had occupied was empty, and then next she was back again with Victor, same place, same time, different day. I blinked, hardly believing my eyes, and Victor was gone again. Teleportation... I hate it. I don't like the idea of people porting around when I least expect it.

So that's the long and the short of it. Sorry I didn't post sooner, but like I said, I keep waiting for it to not be true. (And it's really not much of a story, eh?) I keep expecting I'll wake up, and it will have been a dream. For that reason, I haven't been sleeping much, though it's beginning to catch up to me. Only so much awake-time excitement and adrenaline can account for. I've been cooking and going from person to person, making sure of everyone's happiness. Good fortune is often followed by bad. How much will the scales tip the other way when the bad catches up to us?

Sorry, sorry... I feel badly for even thinking something will ruin our happiness, but I can't help it. I wish I could live in the moment like Sunshine and be all smiles, but I have to consider tomorrow. Tomorrow might be bad again. Who will protect my family tomorrow?


  1. It's hard trying to stay upbeat when you never know what could be around the corner to ruin it. But stressing over it only makes it worse I find.
    I hope it all just work out for you guys..

  2. If you don't get the sleep you need, you won't be able to protect them when the time comes. Enjoy the happy times while you have the chance. They're rare enough, you should take themfor the blessings they are. I wish all the good luck and peace upon you and your family.

  3. I guess the real problem is... it feels too easy. She was returned to us, and I find myself asking why. What will it cost? She's better than she was when she went, and she seemed okay... But "they" never give people back unchanged, do they? So I find myself looking a gift horse in the mouth, as it were. Is this our Shady? She seems like our Shady... I am glad to have her back. But at the same time, I worry.

  4. WE will keep our family protected, together. We have to consider tomorrow because it is always coming, its arrival is known and predictable. What occurs when tomorrow comes, though, is not. We have no set plans we can work with and only prepare for what the possibilities are. And for us that has to be good enough or the "what ifs" will fester to the point we cannot carry on sanely.

    I understand your concerns with me, hell... I'd be concerned if the roles were reversed. You ask the hard questions despite not wanting to, but you have to. I WANT you to ask them. I want you to have proof and be at ease that I am who I was only not as fucked up. Time will only prove that, actions as well. You can take your time figuring out whether I am still your Shady, but I'm not going to wait for you to make up your mind(s). Going to do better than before and keep you all safe, like I said I would when I pledged to be the shield.

    And I promise the slinky won't be bugging you as much, heh.

  5. OMG that damn slinky lol

    Alright... just based on the slinky comment, I can safely assume you're you. :P

  6. Hahaha, well if that's all it takes... (insert evil pyramid fingers here), heh.

    The fact that Sunshine didn't try to rip my throat out like he did with my doppelganger seems to be a good sign too.

  7. Happiness is a fleeting thing, but so is sadness. All things come and go. People, lives, dreams...everything. In the end I think, there is nothing but balance.
    I am happy that she is returned safely and seems to be the same person you know and love.

  8. Take heart in the happiness while it's there...Who knows it might be a while before you see it again.
    Sorry, I get a little pessimistic sometimes.

  9. I know we live in the same house, so it's kind of stupid to reply on your blogs instead of just talking to you, BUT I'm sure... it'll be okay for awhile... I mean, you never know what's going to happen, especially in situations involving Him or His followers, but you were right, we're here NOW and we should enjoy the time we all have together.

    ~Eternally Anonymous~

  10. I took down the blog I had pleading for help, but I wanted to let you know, you wound up helping me. Alot. I kinda realized what I was looking for to begin with wasn't something complicated, or that required alot of tinkering. When you think about it, that can apply to people too.

    I owe you that favor, Ms. Mystery. I didn't forget about you, or what you did. Let me know when or how you want to call it in.

  11. I'll keep that in mind. I'd rather hold off until I'm in need than use up my "favor" frivolously. ;)

  12. -shrug- I don't mind trading favors, hun. They aren't so rare that you would be wasting one. I regularly bribe the people that help contribute my blog, so if you're ever in need of another favor, well, you know how to earn it. ;)