Tuesday, August 2

The Blame Game

Shady's sleeping at the moment, which is for the best. Better she should be sleeping than beating herself up for something over which she had no control. She won't talk to me, but I read what happened in her blog. I know it's impossible to argue someone out of guilt, but none of it was her fault. If anything, RoadRunner is more to blame even than Prosper.

If Shady thinks appearing at her friend's workplace was coincidence, she hasn't been paying attention to RoadRunner's tactics or Prosper's targets. RoadRunner is absolutely mercenary in what she wants, whatever that may be. For some unknown reason, she's fixated on Shady. From the way she acted, it appears she's trying to make Shady just as savage and sociopathic as she is, but who knows if there's a deeper reason for her actions. Prosper is also focused on Shady and has been targeting friends from her past. So it's obvious, at least to me, that RoadRunner dragged Shady to a place where Prosper might become distracted by a new target. I would even hazard a guess that RoadRunner hoped seeing her friend die would inspire Shady to kill. I'm proud of her for defying RoadRunnner. I don't know that I would have been able to do the same in the heat of the moment, if someone had hurt Shady or one of the kids or even my idiot family.

And how is Billy's death Shady's fault at all? You don't choose who loves you. Regardless of whether Prosper stabbed Billy from the front or behind, I cant help but think he would have tried to intervene on Shady's behalf, with or without her blessing.

I don't begrudge Shady her grieving, but she is in no way to blame for any life Prosper has taken. Her grief shows that she is a compassionate and loving person, and that RoadRunner hasn't a chance in hell of changing that. I just hope Shady will be able to see that soon. I already don't like some of the things I read in her most recent entry or some of the things I've seen her doing... Fidgeting is the least of it, though I suppose her hand movements and "plucking" could be called that.

And she's already awake again... Maybe I can get her to eat something.

It looks like she's reading an imaginary book in midair, her finger sliding from left to right as she follows the sentences.....


  1. the pain of birth into darkness is always catastrophic and long.
    her suffering will free her.

    now she can see, feel, what is needed to save you. save her. save us.

    i will show her, now. this true death of life.

    of paid price i say thee thrice
    my word is my law and i say to thee
    in your hour of Dusk, i come.
    no death for you or yours.
    in the Twilight, i come.

    i will obey.

  2. I'll be the first to admit that there is a lesson to be learned in every experience, but I'm not sure that Shady is in any condition to learn anything from any one right now...

  3. Sounds like the only responsible party is this RoadRunner, and Prosper.. These people, they always ruin everything.

    I hope Shady realizes this soon. Give her our regards if you would.