Thursday, June 16


I hate phones... always have. I hate talking on them, hate having one. I held out for the longest time against getting a cell phone (even used the whole "brain tumor" excuse). I'm a bit of a Luddite, you see (as anyone might be able to tell by my current residence). When I was really young, my family always sad I'd probably end up being a nun or a hermit in a cave... and we weren't even Catholic.

Technology is a convenience, except when not having it is an inconvenience. And dealing with phone companies is a HUGE inconvenience.

Long story short, I am still without a phone. I don't want to talk about it because.... I must suppress the desire to coax Sunshine into my car and leave him at the store for a few hours.

I noticed Sunshine looking at E-Bear's replacement teddy bear this morning. Actually, I've noticed him looking at it before, but I wasn't really paying attention. I finished it a while ago and... got distracted by everything going on. I feel like crap about that.

Since I was going to replace my phone expressly to contact my family, I grabbed the bear from where I stowed it in a bin. That's when I noticed Sunshine eying it. He looked up as I paused and quickly looked away when he realized I saw him.


So I didn't have enough money to splurge on replacing my phone. But I did stop at a thrift store on the way back to look for some clothes for Sunshine, Ron, and Trina... which is where I just happened to buy a teddy bear for the exorbitant price of $1.

I called him when I got back home, and he poked his head down from the second floor after a few seconds. (I do not even want to know what he's doing up there... ) I held out the bag enticingly. He just stared until curiosity got the better of him and he hopped down from his Spiderman perch with a wince inducing thud. Slenderman definitely deprived the NFL of a linebacker the day he stole poor Sunshine.

Sunshine seemed confused as to what he was supposed to do as I held the bag open before him. It was a black bag; so he couldn't see what was inside, especially not in the darkness of the house. I could have told him to put his hand in or taken the bear out for him, but I just waited. He's not stupid, even if he's monosyllabic and warped. It's not even a matter of him pretending to be dumb. He just has a different way of thinking that comes off as developmentally challenged to anyone who hasn't taken the time to observe him. He's not slow; he's cautious and more than a little stubborn. I wonder what he would have been like if not for what happened. Shady hasn't said much about their shared history at all, if she's even remembered more than what she wrote about in her blog. That's pretty much the extent of my knowledge of him- what she's written.

After a couple minutes, he slowly put his hand in the bag and felt around. Then he ever so carefully lifted the bear from the darkness. His eyes went a little wide with surprise, but that was all the emotion he showed. A second later, he crushed the thing to his chest and ran away. I have no idea where he is right now. It amazes me that someone so large, scarred, and filthy can still be that frikkin adorable.

Anyway... Going home tomorrow. Pick up a few more of my things, drop off E-Bear's new teddy.

Is it counter-productive to hope that no one is home?

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