Dubious talents

I know I said I wouldn't give personal info, but since SM has already been here and left one of His little playmates to keep an eye on me , I suppose it doesn't matter much any more. Yes... he/she/it is still hanging out across from my house, as if a body of water will stop me from being aware of it. It's either a revenant or a replacement proxy for whoever the Attic Thing eviscerated.

I guess now that I've opened my mouth, He's not going to just let me just go about my business. Since my business is now to stand in His way. Never liked bullies in school; I'm not going to tolerate Him because to put it bluntly, I shouldn't have to and neither should you. The best relationship between gods and mortals is symbiotic, not parasitic. I suppose I could even use His name now (I know several) since He knows about me, but there's no reason to needlessly call attention to myself and rub His nose in the fact that I'm still kicking at the same time. I may be mad for standing up to a pseudo-god, but I'm not stupid (though that could be argued, see qualifier of first statement, ie standing up to a pseudo-god).

So this is the post where I tell you how I'm a freaky-type human and not your run of the mill. I've got these questionable abilities, each and every one with a drawback, that have conspired to make my life... interesting. If you share these abilities, you already know they are not as great as they sound. For a while when I was a kid, I was even scared I was the anti-Christ or something. o.O But I got over that when I was eleven and decided I wasn't even a Christian.

I'll start with the weirder "gifts" and work my way to the more mundane.

I don't age right. This is actually a family trait. We none of us look our age and generally live close to a century. I'm in my late thirties. I can pass for early to mid twenties. This may sound like a great thing, but believe me, it sucks when you're looking for a job. People look at me, and not the date on my application, and figure I'm some wet behind the ears kid. I've reconciled myself to the fact that I'll never amount to much employment-wise. Feh... never been big on money anyway; so long as I have enough to live, fine.

I've always had an unique relationship with electricity. When I was younger and still wore a watch, I could keep the battery charged indefinitely. I once had a cheap plastic watch for seven years, wearing it until the strap broke. I never once had to change the battery. This wouldn't be so bad if the energy only went one way or was steady. It's not. When I am stressed, I suck the energy out of things. When I am angry, I have power surges. Being both stressed and annoyed can be a crapshoot for any electrical devices in the vicinity. I once took out the entire intercom system of a bank drive-thru, and it took them three months to repair it. In my time, I have killed three computers, two printers, my car on several occasions, and I once got a wicked shock in the ear from a phone. So recently, what with having a proxy stalker, I sucked the power right out of my kindle (in one night!), the battery in my keychain to unlock my car was dead and a couple hours later it was working again, and I'm knocking out street lights as I drive home... Not to mention my internet connection over the past week or so has made watching youtube videos difficult.

On the other hand, people tell me I have an energizing personality, and I give wicked electrical shocks.

Yes, I know this is phenomena that might more accurately be attributed to SM. Only problem with that is, it was all happening way before He or His creatures ever deigned to show themselves. I don't pretend to know why.

I am an empath, which means I pick up everything around me like a lightning rod. I know when the neighbors are fighting, whether they are loud or not. I know when someone doesn't like me or if they are dishonest at our first meeting. And I know when things aren't right, as in, knowing when someone is watching me (no matter where you choose to hang out). I am an unusually powerful empath in that I talk to animals, plants, and trees, and I "hear" them respond. I could talk to stones, but... that's a slow and ponderous conversation. I'm even slightly telethetic. That is, I can touch things and get an impression of where they've been, though this amounts to little more than getting a "bad vibe." I can also make people around me feel things, which is not good when I'm stressed, though it can be helpful when people are in pain or freaking out. It makes me extremely uncomfortable in a crowd though.

Basically empathy, for better or worse, is being privy to every little fleeting urge that wanders through your brain, whether you act on it or not. I am the proverbial thought-police, so watch your step. Just kidding... I hate being an empath. I was ashamed of being aware of people's private lives for a LONG time. This particular talent seems to be on the rise with the general population, so if anyone reading this thinks that they may be an empath, feel free to ask for pointers. And there are plenty of books on the subject Now; least you won't have to figure things out on your own.

An actual useful talent, which may just be an extension of my empathy, is that I can "go invisible." I'm not really invisible... it's more like I just put out a vibe to make people not notice me. They subconsciously know I'm there (which is why I've never been fired for job abandonment o.O), but I don't capture their attention. This is another one that... well it's kind of what SM and His converts do, isn't it? I really don't know if I've had this all along or if it came of our one and only encounter.

Finally, I am clairvoyant and clairaudient. That is, clear-seeing and clear-hearing. Clairvoyant extends to prophecy and seeing ghosts. Clairaudient means I hear things. To paraphrase a viral meme: I hear and see dead people. I don't have much skill at divination (I practice a bit of palmistry and tarot when the mood hits me), but I do see ghosts and other things (like SM and proxies), and being clairaudient means I have to use two sound machines to mask the "whispering" that would otherwise keep me awake.